If you have kids… April 28, 2009

Do you ever dream of what they will be when they grow up?  Do you get the inclination to lead them in a certain direction?  What if I told you there was a very good chance you could affect their future, without seeming like you’re nagging or pushing?

At lunch today we got on the topic of childhood playthings.  My boss mentioned that her best friend growing up had a school desk and they always played school.  One breath later, she said “And I had a cardboard grocery store.  There I was, my first retail experience.”

I was completely joking, but I asked if her friend became a teacher.  Sure enough, she did.  I thought about it long and hard.  The only thing (aside from Barbies, Littlest Pet Shops, and My Little Ponies, which I consider universal and inconsequential) I had that was truly my own and not a hand-me-down was my sewing machine.  So now I sew.

I’m interested in whether this works for other people as well.  What did you play with as a kid?  What did you become when you grew up?

Didn’t sleep a wink… April 27, 2009

…last night.  Or at least it felt like it.  I obviously did, because I dreamed, but I’m sure I spent equal time asleep and awake.  You know that feeling when you’re worried you won’t wake up for something important, so you fret about it all night?  Yeah.  That was last night.  What was my something important?  Showering.

I shower at night.  I hate showering in the morning.  It doesn’t “wake me up” or “energize me.”  It makes me cranky because I have to wake up early.  And since I refuse to wake up much earlier, I end up going to work with wet hair.  I also hate blow drying hair.  A lot.

I’d put off showering all weekend because I was running around.  I was determined to shower last night, but The Hippy and his dad had to shut the water off to fix something in the renter’s bathroom.  By the time the water was turned back on, it was late and I didn’t feel like being in the shower or just getting out of the shower as his dad was leaving.  So I decided I would shower this morning.

All night I was dreaming about waking up or my alarm or showering.  I heard my alarm go off in one dream, so of course I woke up.  Checked the time… I still had two hours to sleep.  I don’t know where my alarm sound came from–that typically only happens in a dream when the sound is actually occurring in real life.  Then later I dreamt I was at work about to go on my 15 minute break.  So I told my boss I had to hurry so I could hop in the shower.  Apparently in dreamland, everyone showers at work, because no one was at all shocked.  So I went to the break room to eat something first, but apparently everyone else in the room was finishing up eating the same time I was, and they all had to pee.

Suddenly the coworker I was talking to turned into my old college roommate.  She told me that there was another shower “not in the room, but in the room.”  Thoroughly confused, I left the breakroom/dorm area and promptly woke up.  It was still awhile before my alarm would go off, so I spent the rest of the time tossing and turning.  I am now successfully showered, but entirely uninterested in going to work.  Of course, this *is* supposed to be my day off.  Stupid craft sale on Saturday cutting into my time off.

Parties should be fun… April 20, 2009

Right?

I had to attend two surprise parties this week.  I’m not really a party person, but I don’t hate them.  At least not when I know a few of the people there enough to hold a conversation with them.  But they can be kind of stressful when they’re placed on top of a full week of stuff and you have to cook something for them.  Now that everything is behind me, I can recognize that nothing was bad as I made it out to be.  I will admit that a small part of my stress might have come from the giant Pepsi I consumed.

I digress.  People don’t come here to read me complain about how stressed I am.  People come to see pictures of the yummy things they won’t get to eat.  How do marble cupcakes with mousse frosting sound?

Seriously kids, I love baking from scratch, but box mixes are your friend.  They’re cheap, they’re easy, and most importantly, they make delicious cakes.  They also make fabulous cookies.  Yup.

Maybe someday I will learn the art of cake decoration, but who cares, really?  They taste FAB.  The only way this frosting could be easier is if it were the jello I made for the second party.  Because I’m so generous–and because it’s not my original recipe–I will share this tasty little secret with my favorite readers.  If you’ve heard of this before, pretend to be surprised, because this was truly earth shattering for me…

1 pint whipping cream

1 box instant pudding

a little milk to thin

Whip these three up until they form a fluffy whipped cream.  The pudding thickens this quickly, so add the milk as you feel is necessary so it isn’t too dense.  Don’t whip for too long, or you’ll end up with butter.  Honestly, I someday want to whip it so far I get butter, because I think it would be great on bagels, but it would not be great for putting on cakes.

I didn’t think to take pictures of the jello I made because I was constantly on the move on Sunday, but I figure I should share that recipe as well.

1 cup applesauce

1 box green jello

1 cup lemon-lime soda

Heat the applesauce until just before it boils.  Or, if you’re like me, after it’s already boiled.  Stir in jello and soda and allow to chill.  That’s it.  The texture is so unreal.  There’s a very, very slight tingle from the soda.  The applesauce makes it a denser set, but it’s still the jiggly fun you’d expect from jello.  There’s just more mouth-appeal.  It looks a little weird–like, well, cloudy jello–but it tastes great.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to eat the remaining whipped cream.  Don’t judge.

My contribution April 13, 2009

What is brunch without cinnamon rolls?

Boooo-ring

Sure, cinnamon rolls are great, if you’re into that kind of thing.  Personally, I can take cinnamon rolls or leave them.  This comes in handy at the mall–Cinnabon has absolutely no sway over me whatsoever.

What if your thing is more… shall we say… bacon?  What is one to do?

Now we're talking

The idea came from Bacon Today.  That’s right, kids.  And entire website devoted to bacon.  Though, given many of the internet circles I travel in, I was sort of under the impression that the entire internet was devoted to bacon.  Contrary to that picture of mine, there were two strips of par-cooked bacon in each roll.  I nuked them first, and perhaps could have nuked them a little longer.

Bacons make us Hooooooooooge

As it turns out, I never have any of the bakeware that my recipes call for.  I enjoy employing aluminum foil in the space-filling process.  I could have made these in a silicone pan I have, but I didn’t feel like doing two batches.  Two batches is lame.

Ta DA!

The rolls do not seem disturbed by the foil or the bacon.  My verdict?  I’ve had both the plain and the bacon from this batch, and I guess I could go either way.  The bacon actually leaves sort of a weird after-taste (and, I’m sorry to say, an even weirder after-burp).  It’s tasty while it lasts, and my brother-in-law ate one.  My brother-in-law won’t eat anything new or different.  I consider that a victory in itself.

Blogging from the past… April 10, 2009

This post is being written on Thursday, but published on Friday.  I shouldn’t even bother to give away this secret, but I fail to see how it matters.  I just don’t want 1) Two posts in one day and 2) to forget to post it.  I merely mention this so people don’t get concerned that I’m blogging while I should be working.

I few months ago i started a kitchen window garden.  I would really like to replace a window with a greenhouse window.  I think I would get more even sunlight, and just a better environment for my plants.  Still, without that, I have come up with this:

We got your tomatoes, your parsley (which went from 2″ tall to 5″ tall virtually overnight) and your oregano.  The tomato and parsley plants are totally schooling everything else…

And your basil and bonsai kit.  The bonsai kit belongs to The Hippy.  We got it at World Market’s closeout.  I also have an ivy plant that deserves more sunlight than I am able to give it.

Our renter wants a garden, so we’re building her one and one on our side to make the yard symmetrical.  The Hippy toyed with the idea of building one giant garden, but then he decided it would be unfair to the renter.  We’re kind of lazy, and we’re afraid she would end up taking care of our part of the garden.  I’m not sure what will go in the garden, but I know my mom had saved a bunch of seeds for me from last year.  We’ll see.  A green thumb I have not.

Cooking with Rocketdog April 9, 2009

These pictures aren’t actually from cooking with Rocketdog, but it’s a recipe we “made up” based on the Baked Potato Pizza at Pizza Luce in Minneapolis.  I mused that it would be funny to write a cookbook or a cooking blog using the way we speak while we’re cooking.  So, I bring you…

Mashed Potato Flatbread Pizza

by Rocketdog and Danger Kitty

Make potatoes.  We’ve used… Hungry Jack flakes, Market Pantry frozen potatoe cube things, and real potatoes.  The photos I’m including are made with real potatoes with ricotta mixed in (of which, I am sure, Rocketdog would not approve).

Put flatbread (we’ve used garlic and plain, garlic is infinitely better) on baking sheet.

Potatoes, potatoes, potatoes…

Meat, meat, meat (we’ve used bacon and bbq chicken.  Both are delicious)…

Broccoli, broccoli, broccoli…

Cheese, cheese, cheese (we’ve used mozzerella, cheddar, colby jack, but mostly mixtures of any of the above.  A sharp cheese is definitely a bonus to this pizza)…

Bake, bake, bake… Broil.  To be honest, I don’t know what temp the oven was at.  I think I had mine on 375° F  Just bake it til it’s melty, and broil it til it’s brown.  That’s how we roll.

Here’s a finished slice:

To be honest, now that I’ve typed it all out, the way Rocketdog and I talk to each other isn’t at all funny.  Nonetheless, I wanted to share this little treat with the world.  Two slices should really be enough for the average person.  It’s a weighty pizza.  Should you require more, salads are always a good option.  Don’t forget dessert.

For want of a post… April 7, 2009

The HandmadeMN team is breaking in their Ning group (sorry, no link, it’s Members Only ) by listing 25 interesting things about themselves.  I made my list this morning after hours and hours of deliberation (sprinkled with Bingo Luau, which is the new Poppit and Sweet Tooth).  I thought I would share it, even though very little of it is interesting.

1.I taught myself virtually every craft I know.
2.I am terrified of glitter.
3.I hated reading from middle school until college.  Now I usually have two books going at once, and I’m completely addicted to used book sales.
4.I have a serious sweet tooth and can’t go a day without something sinful.
5.I don’t believe in greeting cards, but feel like a jerk if I don’t give one.
6.I make an amazing cheese sauce, but I adore Kraft Dinner.

Actually Target Brand Sports Shapes with one elbow and one shell mixed in

7.I blame 9/11 for my D in college calculus—I skipped class to give blood, and rarely went back after that.  Truth is, I would have done poorly anyway.
8.I don’t know my own home phone number, but I still remember my mom’s work number from over 10 years and four jobs ago.
9.The only resolution I’ve ever kept was to donate my hair.  That will be my resolution for 2010 as well (and every two years after).
10.I was anti-Apple until I worked for a publisher.  Now I have two iPods and a MacBook.
11.I had a number 11, but I forgot it.
12.I wish I would have been alive in the 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s.
13.I love working on cars, even though I don’t know anything about them.

WIP: Tuco at World of Wheels

14.I don’t consider myself to be an artist or even all that creative.  I just enjoy working with my hands.
15.I have a degree in creative writing but no stories in my head.
16.I like making the things people usually buy: laundry detergent, clothes, pizza crust… Next on my list are bagels and marshmallows.
17.I don’t care how many people tell me she’s a bitch; I would love to meet Martha Stewart.
18.I once tried roasting a Peep (chick, not bunny).  While hilarious, I wouldn’t recommend it for consumption.
19.I’m on a bowling team; my average is 107.
20.My dad and I dream of going on Wheel of Fortune together.
21.I am almost always cold—I get worried when I feel warm.

Best. win. EVER.

22.I always bet on the long shots and my birthday horse (seventh horse in the 9th race) at the track; I have a tendency to make a nice chunk of money and bewilder other track goers.
23.My truck is named Brody after Billy Zane’s character in the video game SSX Tricky.
24.I got my business name from my first license plate.
25.My sister and I dressed up for the first showing of the last Pirates of the Caribbean movie—I spent months making the costumes and didn’t care that we were pretty much the only ones dressed up.

I will probably not be forgiven for this...

“When worlds collide,” said George Pal to his bride… April 4, 2009

I love me a good crepe.  Frankly, I love me a mediocre crepe too.  I can’t get enough crepes.

I love me a good cat.  Frankly, I love me a mediocre cat too.  I can’t get enough cats.

Behold:

I miss my Sluggy.

Really? April 2, 2009

While life has camped firmly between me and my blog, I decided to set down all the roman shades from which I am ripping stitches to tell this tale. It occurs to me as I write this that this whole conversation could be one old lady’s idea of a great April Fools joke. If this is the case, I applaud her. However, I do not underestimate the power of our clientele to believe the ridiculous.

Let me preface this…

I went to a school that put on a production of The Laramie Project (actually, I went to two schools that did). The lovely Fred Phelps sent his cronies to protest the play and the school.  Freddy believes that everything that’s wrong with this world can be blamed on homosexuals.  God is punishing us for accepting gays.

Now, onto today…

Woman to cashier:  You know what’s causing all these problems with the economy?

Cashier: *blank stare*

WTC: All these problems are because women are working.  Women should be at home, and men should be working.  This is not how God intended it.  God is angry that women are working and has sent the devil in.  He’s taking away all the excess money caused by women working.

Cashier: *smilenod* That’ll be…

I guess I can see where this woman is coming from.  I see the problem as more of a chicken or the egg thing, and not as much just that women are working.  Women are working, in part, because of movements that gave us the right to work, not to mention wars that made it imperative we work.  On the other hand, I know many, many women (myself included) that wish they didn’t have to work just to stay afloat.  Let’s face it… movements gave us the right to work outside the home, but they didn’t do anything about the problem of all the work inside the home.

So I guess what I’m saying is that every woman should just stay home for awhile.  Then we’ll find out if things start turning around.  I think it could work.